he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize