yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
