In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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