do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
