I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
