im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I can text with my tongue
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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