we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
