I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
