Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
