I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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