my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he shaved USA in his pubs
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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