you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
