I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize