A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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