Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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