Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
