It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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