it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just had sex on a roof
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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