he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize