You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Randomize
