you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
