I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Is it penis luge time yet?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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