I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
