what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
