What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
operation have a gay friend backfired
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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