If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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