I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
