Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
