just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
