You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
