I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize