hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
