i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
