do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
