You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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