So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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