He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You took a bar mat shot.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
