we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
