So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
