I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
