thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I don't want my vagina anymore.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
