i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize