i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Are my feet made of real feet?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
