Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
