maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You're a waste of cheezeits
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
