I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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