So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
