I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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