the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
