uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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