yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
