You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
