I love black thongs
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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