farters have to be the big spoon...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize