Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
