Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
