It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
What a dumb baby whore.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
