Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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