Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
