I'd wear matching sweaters with you
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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