I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
