Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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