I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
