You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
