why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
