Welp...herpes.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
