scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize