i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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