do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
