No stitches, just platelets and will power
My balls are so social today.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize