if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
