You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
