I just made out with a guy for $7.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
