He is an equal opportunity slut.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
