Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
