I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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