Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
