You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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