my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
